Global Reservoirs Run Dry Due To 20 Second Hand Washing

Water companies are in crisis talks today discussing how to save water during the Coronavirus pandemic due to 20 second-hand washing.

Big bosses from most water companies across the world have stated that they are in deep concern over the drastic loss of water as everyone who never washed their hands before is now washing their grubby hands.

Mr. Haitch Tue Oh from Wuhan Water warned global water companies with the following statement;

“Washing your hands to Happy Birthday will cause reservoirs to run dry of water if it carries on for longer than 14 days. It happened to us and now it will happen to you. The only difference is that we weren’t stupid enough to sing Happy Birthday while doing it”.

His stark warning back in February has caught us all by surprise.

During the current wave of mass media hysteria we have seen those that were less likely to wash their filthy hands, suddenly become more concerned due to the COVID19 pandemic.

We asked Mr. Johnson who is the head of GWI (Global Water Institute) what he thought of the water crisis. He said;

“It’s common sense really. All we need to do is cut down our singing of Happy Birthday to 18 seconds which will leave out the words ‘Happy Birthday To You’ right at the end of the last verse. That would save at least 213.6 trillion gallons of water”

Who would have thought that a major water crisis would arise from this global pandemic? It makes sense really as many of us are filthy sods and rarely wash our hands for longer than 20 seconds.

Let’s all cut down the amount of time to 18 seconds and save water in the process. It’s the sensible thing to do.

These guys in the UK have been totally irresponsible while washing hands for the whole 20 seconds.